Minor Stroke

Today I came in from my precious 2 hours of time off to be greeted by the following scene:

PantyHead: [Sitting in armchair with skirt hoicked up round her middle, bald head on display, wig resting on side-table like small cat] Oh, Emma! Emma! Emma! [Frantic hand waving in my direction] I’m so glad you’re back, there’s been a DISASTER. Oh, Emma, the Doctor came and he rang the pharmacy and the pills will be delivered any minute!

Me: CALM DOWN, PLEASE. TELL ME WHAT HAS HAPPENED? [Screeched at level high enough to penetrate geriatric ears and cause me tinnitus at same time]

PantyHead: I had a minor stroke. My blood pressure rose and my pulse was very high, then my right arm started to tingle, my leg went numb and I couldn’t walk.

Me: Oh! [Head nod, eyes-wide with amazement]

PantyHead: Yes, I nearly fell down, but I knew what to do, this happened once before in the middle of the night when I had to call the Doctor from his bed. So I thought, Emma, I thought I had best not wait. I knew I was having a minor stroke.

Me: Really [Head nod, eyes tinted with glimmer of actual concern]

PantyHead: The Doctor came right round and he said I did the right thing by calling him. He gave me two pills there and then and phoned the pharmacy. The pills will be here any minute.

[DING-DONG! Doorbell rings]

Me: Oh, THERE’S THE DOOR. IT MUST BE THE PILLS. [Exit to retrieve drug drop off]

The pills arrived and PantyHead duly quaffed one, whilst doing her seated foot stomping in order to raise her blood pressure enough to swallow her drugs. With the pills digesting she dialled down the crazy to a mere panic. At this point I was feeling a little alarmed that something might actually be wrong. Fearing that PantyHead might have a tenuous grip on mortality I snuck upstairs to google her medication. The Doctor had prescribed Diazepam – one to be taken three times a day when needed.

Hmm, Diazepam sounds familiar, search results: Diazepam ( /daɪˈæzɨpæm/), first marketed as Valium ( /ˈvæliəm/)

Damn the Doctor is good.